1.31.2010

Journal entry from day 5. Original date: 1.5.10.

So up until today I had pretty much been feeling the same in class as I always had when I was practicing 2 or 3 times a week. Lots of people were asking me how the challenge was going in the first few days, and my stock answer was, “Good. The same. No major breakthroughs or breakdowns yet.” Well, I’d say tonight I hit a bit of a snag.

It happened in the second half of class- the floor series. Now normally, time seems to fly by once spine strengthening is over; I get to Fixed Firm (Supta Varjasana) and I feel like it’s the home stretch. From that point on it’s all my favorite postures anyway. (Well, for now they’re all my faves- I go through phases.) That was not the case tonight. I was desperate for class to end and it seemed to take forever. My eyes were glued to the clock.

Then, between the first and second set of Half Tortoise (Ardha Kurmasana), a feeling came over me and I realized, WHOA, I AM EXHAUSTED! I suddenly had no energy. My eyelids were heavy and I have never wanted to just curl up and go to sleep so badly during each and every Savasana. For real- I think if I had shut my eyes I could have slept. My body felt like lead as I was hurling myself up in each sit-up between postures. Through the rest of class I was admittedly going through the motions without much effort.

I actually started to feel a little panicky, too. It was on my mind that I would have to be right back at the studio first thing tomorrow morning to practice. I have tickets to see a show in Providence with Mike and Nina (purchased before I knew I would be doing the challenge), so I won’t be able to attend my regular evening class. Therefore, I felt like I would not be getting enough of a break between classes given how tired I was. And then, I REALLY started to panic when I thought, Uh oh, all this yoga is catching up with me. I don’t know if my body can handle this. What if I’m always this tired throughout the rest of the challenge??? I’ll never make it! OMG . There I was stuck in my head, getting in my own way.

Luckily, Jenn reminded me after class that everyday is different. You bring a different body with you each and every time you enter the hot room. I will not always be this tired. Phew. I kept repeating this to myself on the way home. And I also realized on the way home that plenty of yogis out there do doubles on a regular basis. Therefore, I really need to quit panicking about doing an evening class followed by a morning class- it’s not that big of a deal. Seriously. I just have to let go of what happened tonight because now that class is over it has no bearing on anything- not on tomorrow’s class, and certainly not on the rest of the challenge.

Now that I’m home I’m writing this entry, eating Honey Nut Cheerios in bed, and then it’s lights out for me. I want to feel as rested as possible for tomorrow. Here’s hoping for a better day 6!

2 comments:

  1. Oh, Stephanie! I am *so* enjoying your blog already! I think what you are doing is fantastic! I admire you and am proud of you!
    <3

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  2. Oh my gosh, this reminded me of the very first time I had a legitimately *bad* class. By that, I mean a class where I did *not* want to be there and had to mentally drag myself through every posture by my fingernails. I just was so wiped out that day, all I wanted to do was lie down and sleep in the middle of the standing series! I napped in savasana and slept for like half an hour! I came out and pretty much cried to my studio owner, all like "What just happened to me?!?" and he just said, "Yep, it's a lifetime practice" and didn't indulge my dramatics at all. The next day I was back to normal and thought, "Oh... I see..."

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