Journal Entry from day 8. Original date: 1.8.10.

So I went to tonight’s class feeling pretty indifferent about it; not really looking forward to it, but certainly not dreading it either. The warm-up started and I could not focus to save my life. My Half Moon (Ardha Chandrasana) sucked. (For real- I think I’m regressing in this posture. I’ve stopped going for as much depth because I keep having to make so many corrections on form lately. Getting my weight in my heels suddenly seems unfathomable.) I stood up from Hands-to-Feet (Pada-Hastasana) and I could barely remember even doing it. Did I pull on my heels? Did I roll forward on my toes at all? Did I even try to lock my knees? WHERE WAS THE MEAT IN MY JAPANESE HAM SANDWICH?!?!?! (To all you non-yogis reading, “Japanese ham sandwich” is one of the more silly expressions used in the actual Bikram dialogue.)

Awkward (Utkatasana) was mediocre at best, and Eagle (Gurarasana) started off the same. My mind was still buzzing and Jenn’s cheerful and pretty voice was reduced to mere background noise. But then at some point either towards the end of Eagle or during Party Time (Bikram’s cutesy name for the first official water break during class), something changed. My mind finally quieted down and clicked to the “OFF” position. This is a good thing; this is actually what is supposed to happen. During class it should be your body and the teacher’s mind. They do the thinking/talking and you should just be focusing on your posture in the mirror. That way, the whole 90 minutes becomes like a moving meditation. This is ideal.

I don’t know if I quite got into a meditative state tonight, but I was definitely feeling very “in the zone”. Exhibit A: After Party Time I proceeded to ROCK Standing Head-to-Knee (Dandayamana Janushirasana)! For the first time when standing on my left leg and kicking out the right I was able to make a meaningful attempt at lowering my elbows down below my calf. Yay! I was not as good on my right leg kicking out the left, but it was still better than it has been in days (hamstrings have been super tight).

This gave me the boost I needed to really push myself, and throughout the rest of class I felt like there were so many mini triumphs. My knees stayed locked and my forehead felt closer to the ground than ever in Standing Separate Leg Stretching (Dandayamana Bibhaktapada Paschimottanasana). Bent over in this posture I actually started to go a little cross-eyed while looking down at where I wanted to put my head and I could smell the scent of laundry detergent from my towel. Getting closer! My right side Triangle (Trikanasana) felt… good?! This is a posture, and side, that I tend to hate right now. And the spine strengthening series was downright pleasant; after Bow Pose (Dhanurasana) my lower back felt amazing- almost like it had evaporated into a divine sort of nothingness and was not even there. Hard to describe, but a great feeling! Fixed Firm (Supta-Vajrasana) and all the rest felt great too. Lately these tend to be my favorite postures anyway. Yes, even Camel (Ustrasana)!

So… WOW. I’m definitely on a yoga high right now- what a great class it turned out to be! I know not every one can be like this, but man does it do wonders when they happen now and then. It's so validating! Also, it goes to show me that having a less than stellar warm-up means nothing. There’s always still time to get in the zone.

The soreness and tightness from pushing myself are setting in. The cure for that is to get back in the hot room as soon as possible. So it’s probably a good thing that I’m taking class tomorrow morning. Morning practice is never as strong for me – my head has already known for years that I’m not a morning person and now my body has simply confirmed it– but for the moment I’m still on my day 8 yoga high and looking forward to it nonetheless.


  1. So my question to you: When are you going to training?

  2. is it telling that i just want to put a smiley face as a response to this comment? lol. i don't know when, but since about a week ago my mind has been trying to work through the logistics of it... when would i go? how would i afford it? what about my job? what about paying my MORTGAGE while i'm not working??? so the answer is: i don't know yet, but definitely someday. :)